Have you ever found that it takes much.more.energy. to be mad at someone than it does to not be mad to begin with?
And now that I write this out...it doesn't just have to be anger. It could just be disliking someone else. It is unrealistic to expect that every person will like or get along with everyone. However, sometimes we spend energy not liking or being angry with someone 'just because'.
I'm done 'just because-ing'. It takes too much energy. I'd rather spend that energy on forgiveness and acceptance.
With this of course will come much needed prayer, because it isn't always easy to forgive, and sometimes it is down.right.hard. HOWever, it isn't wasted energy....like it would be to harbor the ill feelings.
Don't sweat the small stuff right?
And on another note, I have been spending oodles of time with a woman who has oodles of knowledge about life and teenagers. With young B on the verge of becoming a teenager, I have found that her advice and experience are invaluable to me. However, she has told me time and again that there isn't a manual for teenagers.
She just gave me the book called "The Teen Owner's Manual: Operating Instructions, Trouble-Shooting Tips, and Advice on Adolescent Maintenance". If you have a teenager, get this book. Now. Go get it. It's amazing.
Benjamin was with us when she gave me the book, and when she asked what he thought he said (with a smile) "I do not like it. You want this book to spy on me." This brought a giggle to each of us, and then I explained that "no sweetheart, indeed I want this book so that as you get older, the desire to spy on you won't be there, because hopefully I will be able to understand better some of the things you'll be going through, so I won't be lost, confused, and paranoid. When you lock yourself into your room and won't immerge w/o the bribery of food, I don't want to think the worst. When you lash out at everyone, or turn into a blob on the couch, or if your grades begin to slip, or you've decided that you want to wear nothing but black clothing, I want to understand and be able to help...w/o spying and invading your privacy. And God willing, if none of these things happen, and you indeed continue to be responsible, and sweet, and your grades continue to be outstanding, and you don't turn into a scary teenager; I want to show you my appreciation in a way that you will understand and be happy with."
Yea, I think I got as far as "no sweethe..." and he was off to the next thought. He must have half listened at least, because he smiled his beautiful, freckled, sparkly eyed smile when I was done.
Thank goodness I have the book! Thanks Andi!