Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Delirious--seriously--THAT is how you spell that word?

After writing my title I think I just confirmed my state of mind right now. I think I am a bit delirious. It has been another LONG day sitting in the VA hospital surgical waiting room. Just waiting. 11 hours this time. Yea, that was poke my eyes out with a puzzle piece fun. Ok, maybe not fun.

Day 1 on his way back before the first surgery. April 13th 2009

Dad did well. As well as he could being sedated and laying in a hospital bed while surgeons do their nip, tuck, pull, sew, removal of his tumor, lymph nodes, cartilidge and vocal cords. They made the first incision at 10:20am , and came to tell us he was out of surgery around 6...or was it 7? Not really sure on the time exactly but it was a LONG while after the 1st (or was it 2nd) time they came to talk to us. Then we were told we could see him soon after that. Well, it wasn't until 9 that we were able to quickly take a peek. Ouch. I'm not going to lie, he didn't look as I thought he would. I didn't really know what to expect, but I was not prepared for what I did see. His face was swollen, his neck was puffy, his incisions were visible. He looked like he had been beaten up, and I have to admit it took me by surprise. I held his hand and he had such a firm strong grip that it helped sooth my initial reaction. What a guy! I thought I would take pictures to document for him the ordeal he had gone through. But that thought quickly left my mind when I saw him. I was overwhelmed with the desire to protect and comfort my dad. He is awesome.

Dr Tyler is starting to grow on me. Who is Dr Tyler you ask? One of his surgeons. A nice guy. Knowledgable. Friendly. Supportive. stunning movie star type Decent looking. When I see him coming, I know there will be answers to questions. I know there will be empathy, and I know there will be confidence. With his confidence in dad's condition comes my security in knowing that he will recover. I like that feeling.

Should I get to the delirium? Sounds good.

Have you ever sat in a waiting room? Waiting. For hours. With your sisters. Who have also been sitting there. Waiting. For hours. After a while, you start to create scenarios. Like at 8:30, when it is too dark to see the puzzle pieces of the puzzle that you just started working on but now want to finish as though your life depends on it. Yea, you start to think, maybe dad is just back there playing cards. Yea, he told the nurses to just let us sweat it out. He isn't really waking up from anesthetic, he is just hanging out. And after the 5th time that they told us it would be just a few minutes, we were CERTAIN that they were back there trying to convince him that we seemed like nice enough girls, and that maybe they should let us back to see him. Do you see where this is going? Trust me, there were plenty of irrational, impossible, complicated scenes that my sisters and I envisioned. I honestly half expected nurses..and dad to burst through the doors in a chorus line singing Oh Tannenbaum, or maybe rap Fresh Prince of BelAir. But that is a whole OTHER story!

Last week while we waited with dad, he was fasting. That meant we were fasting too. It got pretty scary with the 3 of us starving, but not wanting to eat in front of the man who couldn't eat. So we waited. I think we got a little wacky then too.

Day one, giddy, goofy, laughing so hard that we are crying. Seriously. Delirious.

But this time it was different. It wasn't hunger that caused our umm, irrational behavior. It was the sheer length of time. Dice didn't do it. Although, I won the first 2 rounds, by hitting the winning number dead on. Twice. Crazy.
My scores when it was just Jadee and I. See how I won.

Then Jacobi woke up...yes she slept--the cheater. And we let her play. And she won. So I quit. Yes, I quit. It was just too much.

The only straight rolled ALL day! It was Jacobi's. Cheater.

After emailing, texting, calling, correcting tests, dice playing, taking a walk, and just plain sitting...I am glad to be home, in my bed listening to my husband sleep. W/o snoring. It is wonderful to be home. Although, after only seeing dad AKA Poppi, Papa, Pa, daddy, for moments tonight, I will probably be heading back again first thing in the morning. I should just see if there is an open hospital room to sleep in. Save gas. Probably not.

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