Changes

Thursday was a tough day for me. Because of that I spent most of Friday searching for solace, and hoping that I would get some good news. It never came. It occured to me that I wasn't looking in the right places because I was trying to find it on my own. I was searching facebook messages, and email, and even phone messages. Of course even if there had been a response in one of those places, it still probably wouldn't have given me the comfort that I was desperately searching for. Then I wisened up, and asked God for comfort. I asked him to bring me peace, and to remind me that I can't control the other person, and I can't bring the response I want.

Wonderfully while my heart was breaking, and I was grieving over the comments made, I received another email from someone who I never would have anticipated getting an email from. It was so uplifting and surprising and encouraging and when I put 2 and 2 together, I realized that it was His way of taking care of me during this phase.
While one friendship may perhaps be coming to a close, and I mourn that friendship--it seems another is blooming. One that came from seemingly nowhere and I feel absolutely blessed. I am looking forward to fostoring this new friendship and truly look forward to our families joining together.

Through the technology of facebook I have reconnected with friends and acquaintances that at one point seemed long gone. I have seen and gotten to know many people from my far away past, and my more recent past. Some are getting married, others are having babies, and still others are going through some of the same motions that I am. And all along I get to be a fly on the wall of their lives.

So while this friendship--still somewhat new--may come to a close, I will pray for the courage to accept that. I have to understand that friendship needs to be mutual. And if it isn't meant to be, it just isn't meant to be. And if it does not come to a close, I pray for the Lord to help me forgive. And I hope the Lord will heal my heart so that the feelings I have will not stay so fresh. I also pray for forgiveness for the other person. That any confusion and pain that I may have caused will be washed away.

And for my new friendship. I pray for God to hold us both in His hands while she and I go through life's changes. Life doesn't stop, and it isn't always what I imagine it will be, and it is full of curve balls...so I pray for the ability to keep up.