Reality

Ok, so Brian has brought to my attention --more than once-- that our blog seems sugar coated. On more than one occasion I explained to the love of my life that this isn't the format for me to talk about our marital woes. And would he really want me to? Appears so! He mentioned again today how everything is hunky dorey on here, so I thought I would dedicate this blog to the dark other side of our marriage!


Our marriage is not perfect. Duh! Anyone surprised by that? Thought not! We have been together for nearly 8 years. He has been my very best friend for nearly 11. During all of those years we have had a few bumps along the way.

He is an incredible man.

I am blessed.

He snores.

This is a problem at night. Here is what bedtime is like: *snore, snore snore* elbow to his back *snore* elbow again..."what what, fine, *snore* I'll take it out" *snore snore* another elbow, "what what am I doing? Jodie, *snore* what, what do you need?"
After roughly an hour of this, he finally adjusts his position and stops. There is always an incoherent conversation, he has no idea what is going on, and every night he is surprised by my elbowing, and would like a full discussion about why I would interrupt his slumber. I however, just want to sleep. I would rather not have a discussion about his "music".

I am a terrible back seat driver. He doesn't like this. I try to ignore the zig zagging through town when we could just take a straight shot and then make one turn...but whatever! I'm working on it! We have had our fair share of bickering conversations about my back seat driving.

Neither one of us like to do laundry. Years ago I hated laundry (still do) but at least now it is maintained FAR better than it ever used to. The trouble is we get it cleaned and dried, and then folded and hung. But that is where it ends. The hung items get placed in closets and the folded items tend to hang out in a neat pile or basket until it is worn. The boys don't even have sock drawers. We have a sock tote. I HATE matching socks! Now, I know that we share this aversion to laundry, however it is also an issue for us. When both people hate laundry as much as the 2 of us, who gets stuck doing it? We'll get back to you when we figure that out! (admittedly I am far more stubborn about laundry than Brian and as of recent months he has been very good about following through when he does it. I need a little more work!)

Do I like it when he riles the boys up before bedtime? Or forgets conversations moments after we've had them? Of course not. Does he like how full I keep our calendar? Would he like me to feel a little less rushed when he gets home from work? Should I just accept that he will never remember where the pampered chef mixing bowl goes? Perhaps.

BUT!! We love each other endlessly. We are a perfect pair, and we have loved each other for longer than either of us even knew or wanted to admit. I am proud to be his wife. He is a generous, caring, sensitive, man who has more to offer this world than he is letting on! As long as we continue to give our marriage to the Lord, and ask for His wisdom and guidance, there is nothing we won't be able to do. We disagree, and we get mad at each other, but we also love. We compliment each other, we talk to each other we laugh with each other and we want the other to be happy. That speaks volumes, and while other things are a work in progress, we know there is no one we would rather grow old and raise these boys with!

There you have it world! Surprise! But tomorrow I will write about the wonderful weekend we are having with Christian! Hopefully I will have pictures to back up our adventures from the weekend!

Countdown!

Summer is right around the corner and I CAN NOT wait!! I think I am more excited as a mom for summer to come around than I was as a student. I am really looking forward to having mornings with the boys, going swimming, visiting friends, playing outside and just having them around! This summer is very busy with their activities, but I am hoping that we can get some great down time in too. Here is a synopsis of our weekend, with a little enlightenment at the end.

Memorial weekend was a splash of everything! And it was perfect. Benjamin, Brian and I went out to dinner Friday evening, then we walked to the Hoekstras' for awhile. We walked to their house in absolutely perfect weather, and we had a chance to talk with Benjamin. He opened up about school, some of his likes and dislikes, friendships, his future....it was amazing. I was choked up when we got to their house. I wanted to keep walking because I was enjoying the conversation so much! I look forward to more opportunities to talk candidly with Benjamin!

Saturday morning Benjamin and Christian ran the Med City kids marathon. They have run it for 3 years now. They train by running 25 miles (1/2 or 1 mile at a time) leading up to the day of the final 1.2 miles. Then they run the last 1.2 with other kids in their grades. They both did a great job and made great times! I am so proud of them for doing it each year, and they really are inspirational to me! I am working on the running bit by bit. Someday, I will be able to run along side them in a race!


After the race we (Benjamin, Brian and I) went to the cities. We visited Mike at his new houseboat location in IGH, then we went to the skate park that we found last year when we went to the zoo. Here Benjamin practiced all his tricks, until he was too tired to go on. A little shopping at Half Price Books and dinner, then back to our hotel to relax. We had an absolute blast playing catch in the pool.

We tried to see how many times we could throw it back and forth w/o dropping it. But after awhile we would get too fancy and let it go...we never made it past the 40s. The water was pretty chilly starting out, but we made the best of it and after playing catch for awhile and then wrestling in the pool, we rewarded ourselves with a soak in the hot tub. It was a great way to end the evening!


The next morning after breakfast we went back to the skate park so Benjamin could practice more. Then we tried to find the little out of the way/hidden park, that Brian and I had visited years ago with my mom. We had no such luck, but after driving around for longer than we wanted we ended up in Calhoun Park. It was a gorgeous day, so we ate a quick lunch and stopped to get some drinks and a frisbee and played catch in the park! It was so fun, and easy. The weather couldn't have been better, and the buzz all around us was contagious! When we were too tired and hot to throw the frisbee anymore, we walked back to our car to head off to the Vulcan's house for the night.


We got there before Jill did with the kids (Eric was building a house in Montana) so we made dinner and I baked a cherry pie while we waited. It has been FAR too long since we have seen this family and it was just like old times. I was worried that the little ones would not remember us (in particular our Goddaughter Callie) but oh no worries! They not only remembered us, but Andrew clung to Benjamin just as he always does! It is really sweet to see him just touching Benjamin when he stands next to him.

We spent the night with the Vulcan's and the next day we went to Northfield where the kids played at the park, we watched some people fish, got some ice cream and came back to wait for our Christian to come home!

When we got back to Rochester we worked in our yard to pull weeds and mow and pull weeds. Did I mention that we pulled weeds? Ugh! And we haven't gotten them all! Remind me sometime to tell you how much I dislike this yard....that is for another day!

Christian came home and we had a wonderful dinner at home with key lime bars for dessert (they were absolutely DELISH if I do say so myself!) Then we walked up to the cemetery to visit my Grampa Thompson. We cut some fresh flowers from our gardens and took those to his grave. Our family does not make a ritual of visiting our loved ones after they have passed. I feel as though I can talk to them anytime. They are with me always, and I don't need to be standing over a headstone to talk with them. However, it has been less than a year since he passed away, and I wanted to make sure to pay our respects to him on the first Memorial Day since he has been gone. I sure do miss him

This has been a wonderful weekend. I am grateful for the time spent with Benjamin, and Brian. I enjoy those people so much. I wish I could show them how much I appreciate them.

Remember the bomb I had dropped on me a couple weeks ago? It was like being handed a snake. What do you do? If you let it go, it could bite other people, and while it isn't biting me right now, I know that it could bite me whenever it wants. And that is unsettling. I don't have peace with it. Now, imagine being told I can never set the snake down! That is how I feel! It is hard to know the things that I do, and not discuss them HOWEVER, I have been praying about it, and this is what I have come up with.

I am human. I make mistakes. I don't always make the right decisions, sometimes I even make bad ones. I don't like every person I come into contact with, I won't always agree with the things people say, I am opinionated, I can at times get ahead of myself and make impulsive decisions that sometimes backfire, sometimes I over think things and have a hard time making any decision much less an impulsive one, and I like to partake in innocent gossip with my girlfriends and husband. But! I can also tell you one thing about me. I do them all with the best of intentions. Not spitefully, and not to deliberately hurt someone. It hurt to hear the names I have been called, and the things that have been said about me (nearly all of which are untrue or misconstrued) and I really wanted to fight back. I wanted to go to these people and let them have it. I wanted to tell them what I had heard just to put them on the spot, but like I said I had to pray about it.

So I have.


And because of that praying, I am feeling peace. The things that have been said about me are untrue. And fortunately the people who matter most, wouldn't listen to such nonsense. One of the sayings that I try to teach the boys is "The people who care don't matter and the people who matter don't care." It doesn't apply to every scenario obviously, but it definitely does in this case. Unfortunately, I can not even look at these people in the eye. It makes me anxious to just be around them. I have little patience for people who preach one thing, but live another. I have NO patience for people who spread false rumors. I have no desire to be associated with it.


The point of my ramble is this. I still have hurt feelings by this. And I probably will until the truth comes out. Unfortunately, I don't know if they will ever try to right the wrongs. I don't know if they would ever come clean with the things they have said and done. I know I won't hold my breath. Walls have been built, and despite my best efforts, the lies were built on top of the walls (are you following this analogy?) Anyway! Thank you for your concern. Thank you for your prayers. I am not as weak as I used to be. I am growing more and more in my faith, and I know that HE will not leave me. He is in control, and it is not up to me to pass judgement on anyone. He will see to it that the truth comes out in due time. I just need to keep on keepin on!

If you can't say anything nice...blog

Happy Memorial Day Weekend!!! I hope everyone has a safe and exciting holiday weekend! It is just Brian, Benjamin, and I this weekend, Christian will be gone :( His face and laughter will be missed, but I am also looking forward to having quality time with my first born!

I don't have much to say this time around(that is a first right!) Who am I kidding? I do have much to say, but I was taught that if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Ok, I wasn't really taught that, and I certainly don't adhere to it all the time, and probably never followed that advice growing up---BUT I am listening to it right now, and that is what counts right?

So with that said, I will leave you with a cool video I saw on Facebook. Yes, I am addicted. And I don't care! Now that I have internet on my phone I check facebook at least 3 times a day. It gets me through long drives to Duluth, sitting in waiting rooms for kids appointments, VA hospital trips, waiting to pick up kids...My life is one big "hurry up and wait" and the internet keeps me busy! I don't like all the facebook games, and I don't want to be kidnapped, or part of the mafia, or join the circle of life...or whatever it is called. I do however, like to read some of your quizzes, and occasionally partake in a survey or two.

Anyway...The boys loved this video, so I thought I would share it with all of you! Thanks Greg!


Sickest s#*t you'll ever hear
The end is the most impressive! Enjoy and be safe!

Take 5

A while back I wrote about Cruisin along. As I learn more, I waffle between being hurt about it, and just letting God. In fact, I have talked very little about it not at all about it with Brian (Hi Honey!!) because I just don't want it to be real. And I am afraid if I repeat what I have heard, it will be true. I have found that if I don't talk about it, I don't think about it, however, the more I learn, the weaker I get, and want to talk about it. Does that even make sense? Anyway, I am really working on being strong about this, and trying to let it run it's course. I know that I am not in control of their actions, and really not much apart of it anyway, even if I am the topic. However, I am only human....So I pray.

On a lighter much more interesting and exciting topic! Benjamin ran his first 5K on Friday night! It was quite exciting to be apart of the buzz.

Here are Benjamin and his friend Bennett pre-race


Here they are coming up around the last part of the race. When I say up and around, I mean literally. The last part of the race is up hill! Ugh!

He wanted to do some races last year, but we weren't in tune to dates and registrations, so he wasn't able to get in on any, but this year we are all over it! This was the SOS run in Rochester, and he made pretty good time! Brian, Christian, and I did not run with him, I am certainly not what I would consider a runner, but it was quite exhilerating just watching the runners as they came in. So I decided that I will run the SOS next year! I have always had runners envy, and now with the fitness kickstarted with the weight resistance, I am ready to add in some cardio! Will I run one this year...not likely, but I will definitely be ready for next year!
Great job Benjamin we are so proud of you!

After he crossed the finish line! He is smiling--is that the runner's high I hear people talk about? I don't know but he did awesome! The official times aren't posted yet, but he finished just over 28 minutes! 3.1 miles in 28 minutes? Way to go!!


After the race we went to the Napton's for a little post race pizza and cocktails. It was nice to hang out with their family, and relatives (including the Robelias) and the boys got to swim! Beth and Darin keep their pool at 86 degrees, so it didn't matter what the temp was outside (56 if you wanna know) because the pool was toasty warm!
Quite a difference Sat morning can make though! 8am soccer, followed by selling sprouts at the farmers market! In the wind. The cold wind. 30 mile an hour cold wind! Sheesh! 2 1/2 hours is way too long to be standing in the cold wind during the 3rd week of May. But Christian had a good time selling, he had a pretty decent soccer game, and I got some good Lincoln mom jabbering in! So all is good, wind and all!
After selling, we ran like crazy to get ready for my cousin Derek's wedding.

Don't those boys look awesome? Benjamin was Mr High Roller, and Christian is all about the GQ look. Aww, those boys!


Add in my handsome husband. Wow, those are some gorgeous men that I get to love and be loved by everyday!

We spent the rest of the day shopping for gifts, ironing, cleaning out truck, doing our hair (all 3 of us) I even used hairspray today...remember the wind? The wedding was beautiful and we had a great time! It was an early evening though because Bri guy works at 6 am tomorrow, and he needed some beauty rest after the last few late nights. Congratulations Derek and Carrie! We wish you a lifetime of love, and look forward to spending time with you in the future!

Thursday night we went to Walking with Dinosaurs. It was another premium opportunity offered to us by our principal, and we gratefully accepted the tickets. My pictures did not turn out at all since we could not use flash, but the link will show you what we saw...it was pretty cool! TRex was pretty intimidating and all the other dinosaurs were quite lifelike. We are glad to have had another experience that we wouldn't have had otherwise, so thank you to Jim for giving us the tickets to see the show!

Now, I get to sleep with Christian tonight. He is lying next to me in bed, and is sleeping so soundly that I am giddy to go to sleep myself! Good night!

Impromptu Getaway

I have tried to write this post a couple times, but nothing quite does it justice. I had a fantastic Mother's Day weekend, I can't find the right words to describe it, so I will do it through pictures. I loved our last second/no plans/"what do you want to do?" "I don't know, what do you want to do?" "want to go to Duluth?" "Ok" "YAY!!!" weekend in Duluth. The boys were giddy about just taking off on an unplanned weekend, it is something Brian and I have done many times, but never with the boys, so I am so glad to have finally shared it with them! Thank you Brian, Benjamin and Christian for being my family. Being a mother is my favorite thing in the world because of the 3 of you.


The view of the boys swimming from our hotel room balcony. I can't submerge my legs (from the muscle biopsies) so I couldn't swim with them. This was a very pleasant surprise when we got to our room. It was nice to be able to watch them from the comfort of our balcony!


Remember ages ago when I said we can never get a good photo of Brian with his eyes open? But isn't it a fantastic picture of my Benjamin?!


Oh, I love these faces! This was during our brunch in the hotel. The food was delish!


Silly boys. The silly part, was Benjamin letting them think he was being silly!


Christian taking a break. Watching the seagulls.


This should have made me nervous. But it was pretty cool.


Just doing some shopping with my boys.


We found this while we were hiking in Chester Park along the water falls. It was pretty neat, so we had to take a picture! Someone actually spent some time building this.


Does this tree look familiar? It will always be one of my favorite memories. I had flashbacks when I saw it....

Flashback to 2005.
Fall 2005
Fall 2005
This is the same fallen tree that the boys and Brian climbed across in 2005. I didn't know then that it would be one of my fondest memories. Nor did I think it would still be here all these years later. Here they are going over.

Fall 2005
And here they are on the other side! They were so proud.


Fall 2005
This park is also home to one of my favorite pictures of the boys. Duluth truly has been a wonderful getaway for our family! I love love this picture. We now have a collection of Christian's walking sticks!



Fast forward back to 2009--We caught up with these deer in Two Harbors down by the lighthouse. The boys were able to walk among them a little while they grazed. There were at least 10 deer that we could see and count. It was pretty cool!

This was an incredible weekend. I look forward to our next impromptu getaway...even if it is Duluth again!!

Cruisin...

You know how it feels when you are cruisin' along just minding your own business and WHAM! Something or someone hits you from behind? You know the saying "I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then." "Sometimes knowing is worse than not knowing."

These things are true.

It is amazing to me how small our world really is. I have found friends where I least expected them. For that I am grateful. I am grateful to having my eyes wide open to those who deceive. I am grateful to being a day wiser, and perhaps even a step ahead. I am grateful that I may no longer be mislead. However, the absolute knowledge of being disrespected, lied to, and lied about is painful.

In high school I remember girls telling me to not like a particular girl because of one reason or another. I didn't listen. I wanted to form my own opinion. And in order to do that I needed to get to know her myself. I needed to gather the facts. And then, I even asked her directly why people said the things they did. I wanted to hear from her own mouth. She is still one of my friends today. And I never speak to those other girls.

If only everyone would try that. Information from a source who is jaded, probably isn't the most reliable huh? If only we could all remember that. Sometimes we believe something because we want it to be true, even though it isn't. Sometimes we look to see someone fall short, and perhaps even take joy in their shortcomings because it makes us look good. Sometimes we get so caught up in our agendas and our own desires, that we miss the real deal...even when it is staring us down. Sometimes we take the smoother path because it is easier, it takes us where we thought we wanted to be, until we look deeper, and maybe it isn't where we belong.

My instinct is to set the record straight. To somehow try to right these wrongs. I want to fix this. I want to undo the deceit. I don't want to be affected by this anymore.

But I won't. I will be patient. I will let God. He knows better than I. All I can do is pray. Pray for those who judge w/o knowing. For those who deceive, and for those who are deceived. That they may find the truth. I will pray.

Not Me Monday

Yep! It's that time again! Not Me Monday is all about the things I totally did, and I can 'fess up to them here, w/o actually having to admit to them. It really is quite therapeutic!

This past week I definitely did not purchase rice krispie bars at SA on the way to AND from the VA clinic. And I certainly did not eat them all in the car before I got home!

I absolutely did not blog on Friday about all the work the hubby and I were going to accomplish this weekend, only to avoid it. We did not enjoy our trip to Wabasha to visit his family on Saturday. I did not feel one bit guilty as we visited with our friend Mike and he mentioned a shindig he is having on the weekend that I thought I would have a garage sale. I did not have second thoughts as I filled "party" in on my calendar in place of said garage sale! And because of this change to our schedule I am absolutely w/o a doubt putting off not going to put off house purging a little longer!

Today I did not eat a few extra chicken poppers at Lincoln just because I know my study diet starts tomorrow, and I won't be allowed to eat anything but the CRU cafeteria food for the next 4 days.

It is a little depressing that my Not Me this week are all related to either being a procrastinator or a Li'l Miss Piggy...but I've been working my butt off with my trainer this week and I am exhausted/hungry!

Along with my Not Me, I'll let you in on the progress I made over the past 8 weeks.
When I began my training 8 weeks ago, we did a max test. Max testing was just having to do the weight 1 time. If I could do it we went up in weight until I couldn't even lift it once. I did it again Friday May 1st. My results were not too shabby if I do say so myself!

Max 8 weeks ago;
Chest press: 50lbs
Lateral Pull: 70lbs
Leg Press: 200lbs

Friday, after the 8 week training;
Chest Press 70lbs
Lat Pull: 90 lbs
Leg Press: 300 lbs

Woo Hoo!!! I am really looking forward to making further progress by adding in some cardio. So if any fellow Y members are looking for a class buddy, or a work out partner give me a shout!

Take 5

Ok...so the weekend is beginning, and I am overwhelmed. Already. That can't be good.

I have managed to find SOMEthing to occupy nearly every moment of our weekend, and I am regretting it. Already I am thinking of the movies the hubby and I could rent instead. Or maybe take a walk, house hunt--basically procrastinate. Anyone double as a maid on the side? I could use one right now--actually not right now; tomorrow. Anyone?

Alas, Brian is sitting at work reading this blog thinking "Couldn't she just be doing some of the honey-do right now instead of writing about it?" You're right honey, I could...but that would be efficient and organized, and lets be real dear, that isn't who you married!

Instead, I am getting ready to run the errands that have been adding up the past 3 weeks, so that I can be ready to veg out clean/simplify with you tomorrow! I have been gone so much that things have just been set aside, and I have 3 weeks of catch up to do this morning! Then an afternoon at the school, trip to the trainer, dinner/drinks with the Robelias...most all of those things will be great!

Dad could/should be coming home today!! Woo Hoo! I wish I could be there when he gets released, I hope one of my sisters thought to bring her camera. I've been keeping a photo timeline of his days in the hospital. That way he'll be able to look back on the days that were blurred over by pain meds and sheer boredom. Wednesday I spent the day with him, and he asked me what day of the week and date it was. It occured to me then that he has NO idea even what month it could be! Crazy. I know how that feels sometimes....

Goodbye VA!!!!

Training is almost over! Yippee! I have loved getting motivated and the jump start to working out is great, but I am over the whole appt thing. I need to do it when I am available, instead of scheduling it in. I have also been restricted from going outside of their program, and I am so pumped about being able to take some classes, and work on some of my "trouble" areas. (Here is where Brian says outloud to his co-workers "She doesn't have trouble areas")....awww Thanks babe!

Ok Weekend, my Take 5 is over, bring it on!

Dear God,

Please help me stay motivated tomorrow. Please help me to keep my eyes on the prize, and help me to stay focused. If I try to avoid those things that should not be avoided, please help Brian kick my booty. And vice versa.

AMEN!