Wednesday, May 6, 2009


You know how it feels when you are cruisin' along just minding your own business and WHAM! Something or someone hits you from behind? You know the saying "I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then." "Sometimes knowing is worse than not knowing."

These things are true.

It is amazing to me how small our world really is. I have found friends where I least expected them. For that I am grateful. I am grateful to having my eyes wide open to those who deceive. I am grateful to being a day wiser, and perhaps even a step ahead. I am grateful that I may no longer be mislead. However, the absolute knowledge of being disrespected, lied to, and lied about is painful.

In high school I remember girls telling me to not like a particular girl because of one reason or another. I didn't listen. I wanted to form my own opinion. And in order to do that I needed to get to know her myself. I needed to gather the facts. And then, I even asked her directly why people said the things they did. I wanted to hear from her own mouth. She is still one of my friends today. And I never speak to those other girls.

If only everyone would try that. Information from a source who is jaded, probably isn't the most reliable huh? If only we could all remember that. Sometimes we believe something because we want it to be true, even though it isn't. Sometimes we look to see someone fall short, and perhaps even take joy in their shortcomings because it makes us look good. Sometimes we get so caught up in our agendas and our own desires, that we miss the real deal...even when it is staring us down. Sometimes we take the smoother path because it is easier, it takes us where we thought we wanted to be, until we look deeper, and maybe it isn't where we belong.

My instinct is to set the record straight. To somehow try to right these wrongs. I want to fix this. I want to undo the deceit. I don't want to be affected by this anymore.

But I won't. I will be patient. I will let God. He knows better than I. All I can do is pray. Pray for those who judge w/o knowing. For those who deceive, and for those who are deceived. That they may find the truth. I will pray.

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