Ugh!

Life.

Is.

Good.

I have fantastic friends! I absolutely adore so many of the families at Lincoln. I am so so glad that the boys are able to share and experience the same school and philosophy that I had when I was their age. This coming weekend we are having a picnic with 12 other Lincoln families and I am just giddy excited about it! I cannot wait! I have alot to do to prepare for it since I am one of the hosts of said party. This year the PPT presidents (Jeff and Chris) and I auctioned a picnic at our fall auction and 10 families went in on it together, so here we are! I have alot to do between now and then, but it will be like having a birthday party, since my Bday is the next day! Good stuff!

And bad stuff...

I feel tricked. I feel insulted. I feel foolish. I feel hurt. And I feel angry. I am still upset, and while I pray and pray, I just can't seem to get used to the new direction I am forced to go in.
After years and years of trying to make do. After years and years of thinking that things were one way BAM!! I learn they are not, and they have not been for much longer than I knew. UGH! I am learning, and I am taking my time. All I can do is my best right? This past weekend I had to really bite my tongue. I was faced with the 2 angels on the shoulders. The bad angel really wanted me to make my voice be heard. But the good angel barely edged out a win, and instead there was just HIGH tension! Ugh Ugh! What I have been learning from this process though, is separation. I am able to distinguish what it is that bothers me. It is not my husband or my home, or the weather, or anything else. It is simply THIS. And THIS does not affect my sleep, it does not affect my relationship with Brian. I will not allow it to affect how I feel about myself as a mother or wife, or friend, or child of God. It is a burden that I didn't think I was prepared for, and while I would love to wish it away, I am growing because of it. Patience right?

OH! I will have to get the pictures of our weekend up so I can write about our fabulous one on one time with Christian this weekend! Soccer, science museum, Trader Joes, Chester woods park...it was a beautiful weekend! I will do that tomorrow, for now I'm going to go listen to my husband snore!