Thursday, June 18, 2009
Loss for words...
It seems this is happening more and more to me these days. I am at a loss for words.
Crazy I know.
This week the boys are gone, and today ( I started this post Thursday) I have been feeling a little sad. Brian is at work, no boys home to talk with...I'm alone and feeling a little sorry for myself.
I am discouraged with our house hunt. Brian and I have looked at many homes. We know God is in control of our house hunt. And I am trying to keep that in the front of my brain. But I want to move. I want to find our house. In the right school district. In the right neighborhood. Established neighborhood. With younger couples. We don't want our house to be a duplicate of every other home on our street. We want a beautiful yard space. Sigh...it is out there, we'll find it. And when we do, we'll jump!
I am discouraged with not having a job. It is funny, because for years, I didn't want one. I LOVE being a mom. I LOVE being involved in the school. I absolutely would never ever trade the time that I have been able to spend with my children, w/o a day care provider telling me what their day was like. I knew what their days were like because I was there. My fondest memories, and fuzzy feelings are the days that Brian and I (when he worked the 3pm-11:30pm shift) would take the boys hiking, and to the park, and eat breakfast together, and watch cartoons, read stories...You can't put a salary on that. It is priceless. I am grateful beyond words for all of the years with them.
But, they are in school now. They don't need me home during the day anymore. They look forward to coming home to an empty house once in awhile. The feel of independence. It teaches them to be responsible. I want to encourage that. So I look for positions. I apply for positions. I hear nothing back. Mind you, I don't want a career. I don't want a position that has a huge salary if it means I have to trade in my time with my family. That will never be worth the trade for me, no matter the lifestyle it would bring. If it was important, I would have done it by now. I just want something to do during the day...that does not involve staring at these 4 walls. (and one that pays well of !COURSE! is ideal!) I realize that the market is tight. Few are hiring, and those who have been laid off with more work experience, and education than me are much more attractive to employers. I get that. And truly, there are people out there who have no income at all, and quite frankly, I don't belong in a position that someone who has to be the breadwinner needs. Again, I know God is in control. The right one will come. And again, I will be ready.
Ok, so I was wallowing in these thoughts today. Poor me, I'm sick. Poor me, no houses with great yards. Poor me, I want a supplemental income for myself because I am selfish and want more than the 2 jobs I already have because they aren't "good enough".
And then I read MckMama's blog and my heart went out to this mother. She inspires me, and she encourages me every day. And after reading her message Saturday morning with Brian, we both said a prayer for her family, and for ourselves that we may remember to count our blessings rather than concentrate on what we "think" we want.
Thank you God for our healthy family. Thank you for continuing to guide me, and teach me. My eyes are WIDE open again! No more feeling sorry for myself. I only wish I could offer to Mckmama the wisdom and peace of mind she offers me.
Crazy I know.
This week the boys are gone, and today ( I started this post Thursday) I have been feeling a little sad. Brian is at work, no boys home to talk with...I'm alone and feeling a little sorry for myself.
I am discouraged with our house hunt. Brian and I have looked at many homes. We know God is in control of our house hunt. And I am trying to keep that in the front of my brain. But I want to move. I want to find our house. In the right school district. In the right neighborhood. Established neighborhood. With younger couples. We don't want our house to be a duplicate of every other home on our street. We want a beautiful yard space. Sigh...it is out there, we'll find it. And when we do, we'll jump!
I am discouraged with not having a job. It is funny, because for years, I didn't want one. I LOVE being a mom. I LOVE being involved in the school. I absolutely would never ever trade the time that I have been able to spend with my children, w/o a day care provider telling me what their day was like. I knew what their days were like because I was there. My fondest memories, and fuzzy feelings are the days that Brian and I (when he worked the 3pm-11:30pm shift) would take the boys hiking, and to the park, and eat breakfast together, and watch cartoons, read stories...You can't put a salary on that. It is priceless. I am grateful beyond words for all of the years with them.
But, they are in school now. They don't need me home during the day anymore. They look forward to coming home to an empty house once in awhile. The feel of independence. It teaches them to be responsible. I want to encourage that. So I look for positions. I apply for positions. I hear nothing back. Mind you, I don't want a career. I don't want a position that has a huge salary if it means I have to trade in my time with my family. That will never be worth the trade for me, no matter the lifestyle it would bring. If it was important, I would have done it by now. I just want something to do during the day...that does not involve staring at these 4 walls. (and one that pays well of !COURSE! is ideal!) I realize that the market is tight. Few are hiring, and those who have been laid off with more work experience, and education than me are much more attractive to employers. I get that. And truly, there are people out there who have no income at all, and quite frankly, I don't belong in a position that someone who has to be the breadwinner needs. Again, I know God is in control. The right one will come. And again, I will be ready.
Ok, so I was wallowing in these thoughts today. Poor me, I'm sick. Poor me, no houses with great yards. Poor me, I want a supplemental income for myself because I am selfish and want more than the 2 jobs I already have because they aren't "good enough".
And then I read MckMama's blog and my heart went out to this mother. She inspires me, and she encourages me every day. And after reading her message Saturday morning with Brian, we both said a prayer for her family, and for ourselves that we may remember to count our blessings rather than concentrate on what we "think" we want.
Thank you God for our healthy family. Thank you for continuing to guide me, and teach me. My eyes are WIDE open again! No more feeling sorry for myself. I only wish I could offer to Mckmama the wisdom and peace of mind she offers me.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Fear not...
I do have a post coming...I have been trying to minimize it...we had a very busy week, and I started to recap, but now I'm not so sure. And now my eyes hurt, (I feel old(er) age coming on) so I think I am done with the computer for awhile.
Rest assured though my sweet friends--and loyal blog followers, I will post sometime today or tomorrow morning. For now, you should visit one of our favorite blogs;
CakeWrecks
The boys and I LOVE to follow this site. We try to read the entries before we look at the pictures, the added suspense is great! Enjoy!
Rest assured though my sweet friends--and loyal blog followers, I will post sometime today or tomorrow morning. For now, you should visit one of our favorite blogs;
CakeWrecks
The boys and I LOVE to follow this site. We try to read the entries before we look at the pictures, the added suspense is great! Enjoy!
Monday, June 8, 2009
Bring on Summer!!
Tomorrow is the last day of school! If the key board had music notes, I would insert them because I am SINGING!! I cannot wait for summer to be here and the boys to be around more. Of course, they have camp, and vacations, and more camps, BUT we will have plenty-o-time to swim, lounge, hike, chill, play, relax, organize, sleep, and socialize!
Margarita Mondays should be starting soon...so look for that! A few years ago, Brian and I started Margarita Tuesdays. We would go to Benjamin's baseball game and come home and make margaritas. It was open invite, so whoever could come would come. We did this for a couple years, changing the day it fell on, but took a year off. Well folks, you've asked and asked (ok, only a few of you have) but you're right! We need to do it again, so they're back!! Only this summer it will fall on Mondays. So bring your pico, maybe some guac, and head on over to the Meurer's for Margarita Mondays. Well, not yet-- we won't be home this Monday, I'll let you know when they start!
I had a superb birthday. But with no pictures. Breakfast in bed with a harmonized birthday song, wonderful cards from the boys with wonderful messages, and some very personalized gifts! I truly am blessed to have such wonderful men in my life!
That is all I will say about our weekend, no recap this time. Why you ask? Because it is time for NOT ME MONDAY!!
I absolutely did not get choked up and teary eyed at the Pixar movie Up this weekend. No, not me. Nor did I spend the first 10 minutes of the movie envying the home and relationship between the cartoon characters. Definitely not me!
There is NO way I spent all weekend, saying "But it's my birthday" just to get out of doing some of the things I didn't want to do. And bless their hearts, they went with it. I am sure I will get it paid back 10 fold when their birthdays role around, but hey, it is only once a year right?
I did not make just under 10 dozen M&M cookies for a party that got cancelled because of the weather, only to give away half, and proceed to eat about 3 a day (ok, 4 maybe) myself each day. And now there are fewer than a dozen left.
I did not nearly cry when the teachers did their dance for the talent show today at school. No way, not "she who wears her heart on her sleeve" Jodie.
(one of the MANY MANY reasons why I love this staff!!)
Amazing Lincoln Staff at Talent Show
Absolutely under no circumstances did I bail on the PPT meeting in the evening of my birthday. It was not the last meeting of the year to wrap up all loose ends, and officially become my official first meeting as President. I certainly did not bail on said meeting "because it was my birthday"!
I did not get excited that Tricia was sick this morning since it meant that I could work for her at Lincoln. I really truly do sympathize with her, and hope that she gets better soon, but I was glad to have one more shift at Lincoln before the school year was over! And it couldn't have been a better day to work with that wonderful staff, and our fantastic students!
Ok, there you have it! Emotional and birthday indulgences....yep, that wraps up last week! I would like to say though, that I have made some progress toward the garage sale, and I confronted the issues I have been facing for a couple weeks. I took it head on, I educated myself before I went into the meeting, and I feel MUCH MUCH better! Yay me! Now we will see if any apologies or acknowledgement will come from the offenders, or if nothing will happen. But at least I know I am doing the very best I can, and with God's direction, I will continue to do what is best for me and my family.
Margarita Mondays should be starting soon...so look for that! A few years ago, Brian and I started Margarita Tuesdays. We would go to Benjamin's baseball game and come home and make margaritas. It was open invite, so whoever could come would come. We did this for a couple years, changing the day it fell on, but took a year off. Well folks, you've asked and asked (ok, only a few of you have) but you're right! We need to do it again, so they're back!! Only this summer it will fall on Mondays. So bring your pico, maybe some guac, and head on over to the Meurer's for Margarita Mondays. Well, not yet-- we won't be home this Monday, I'll let you know when they start!
I had a superb birthday. But with no pictures. Breakfast in bed with a harmonized birthday song, wonderful cards from the boys with wonderful messages, and some very personalized gifts! I truly am blessed to have such wonderful men in my life!
That is all I will say about our weekend, no recap this time. Why you ask? Because it is time for NOT ME MONDAY!!

I absolutely did not get choked up and teary eyed at the Pixar movie Up this weekend. No, not me. Nor did I spend the first 10 minutes of the movie envying the home and relationship between the cartoon characters. Definitely not me!
There is NO way I spent all weekend, saying "But it's my birthday" just to get out of doing some of the things I didn't want to do. And bless their hearts, they went with it. I am sure I will get it paid back 10 fold when their birthdays role around, but hey, it is only once a year right?
I did not make just under 10 dozen M&M cookies for a party that got cancelled because of the weather, only to give away half, and proceed to eat about 3 a day (ok, 4 maybe) myself each day. And now there are fewer than a dozen left.
I did not nearly cry when the teachers did their dance for the talent show today at school. No way, not "she who wears her heart on her sleeve" Jodie.
(one of the MANY MANY reasons why I love this staff!!)
Amazing Lincoln Staff at Talent Show
Absolutely under no circumstances did I bail on the PPT meeting in the evening of my birthday. It was not the last meeting of the year to wrap up all loose ends, and officially become my official first meeting as President. I certainly did not bail on said meeting "because it was my birthday"!
I did not get excited that Tricia was sick this morning since it meant that I could work for her at Lincoln. I really truly do sympathize with her, and hope that she gets better soon, but I was glad to have one more shift at Lincoln before the school year was over! And it couldn't have been a better day to work with that wonderful staff, and our fantastic students!
Ok, there you have it! Emotional and birthday indulgences....yep, that wraps up last week! I would like to say though, that I have made some progress toward the garage sale, and I confronted the issues I have been facing for a couple weeks. I took it head on, I educated myself before I went into the meeting, and I feel MUCH MUCH better! Yay me! Now we will see if any apologies or acknowledgement will come from the offenders, or if nothing will happen. But at least I know I am doing the very best I can, and with God's direction, I will continue to do what is best for me and my family.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
One on one with Christian
Last year Benjamin's class was offered the opportunity to spend the night in the Science Museum. I chaperoned this trip, and we had an absolute blast! Since then Christian has been on pins and needles to go, and we just haven't made the trip. So when Brian and I knew that it would just be the 3 of us this past weekend, we knew it was time to get Christian up there. And boy oh boy, we couldn't have picked a better weekend!

First we had Christian's soccer game. He played goalie for one of the quarters, and he did a fantastic job.

His flexibility amazes me! One of these days I am going to post action shots of Christian. He is a great sport when it comes to making a good picture! Anyway, his team played a great game, and as it turns out is was Christian's last for the year.
After his soccer game we stopped at the school for the garage sale that was going on. Oh. My. Goodness! They had so. much. stuff. I had been in there the day before to help...barely, ok, so I did very little helping, but I got a glimpse of all that they would be trying to sell, and I am telling you it must have come out of their ears after I left, because when I came in Sat morning I was shocked! They had a great sale, and even made a huge amount of money! Go Lincoln!
From there Brian, Christian and I drove to the cities to go to the Science Museum. We had a great time looking and playing in all of the exhibits. Christian was bouncing around, checking things out, and running from one station to the next. He didn't read many of the directions, so we were asked "What does this do" dozens of times through out the day. Who could blame him though right? I mean who wants to take the time to read the directions, lets just DO IT!

He did sit and weave for quite awhile.

He spent some time taking a culture of the inside of his cheeks. He swabbed his cheek, then added blue liquid, dried it, blotted, and looked through the microscope to see the cells. He wasn't as interested in this as Brian and I were...on to the next!!
The mummy wasn't as big a kick for him as it was for the kids in Benjamin's group, but Christian sure did enjoy nearly everything the Science Museum had to offer.
As we were leaving we went out the front doors where there were tents set up across the street in the park. We walked over and it was a Children's Festival! There were booths, and games, and face painting and music! There was even a big open space with these cool sticks and hula hoops and juggling objects...Christian LOVED it!



We spent most of our time in this area where he tried his hardest to master juggling a stick between 2 sticks. I know that sounds vague, but I really have no idea how else to describe it.

We also made a parachute in one of the tents, and visited the butterfly garden where were able to catch and hold several butterflies. There were so many different kinds, and we were surprised to see how friendly many of them were.
After the festival we drove to Woodbury for a Trader Joes stop before we came home. It was a full, exciting, wonderful day with just our Christian. The next day he just wanted to stay home, until he remembered his cousin was just blocks away. So he disappeared for part of the day while Brian and I worked in the yard.
Christian and I tend to butt heads. I don't know if it is because he is just like me, or just like his dad....either way he and I don't always see eye to eye, but boy or boy, do I love to spend time with him. He can almost always make me laugh. He is sensitive and intuitive, and wise beyond his years. He is innocent and naive and impulsive and tends to act first/think later. I am grateful for my young son, and I look forward to watching him continue to grow with the same sweet enthusiasm he has now.
I know I end many of my blogs with how grateful I am, and I talk frequently about how blessed I feel to have the friends that I do, and the family that I do. Does it get old? Will I stop? Not likely. I truly feel undeserving of the life I have. I genuinely love nearly every aspect of my life right now. My children are wonderful boys, and they are learning and growing so much everyday, that I feel almost like I am watching instead of participating somedays. I adore my husband and still sometimes marvel over the sheer outrageous luck that he and I are together after all these years, and all those changes and choices that he and made so many moons ago. And as far as my friendships go, I am just in awe that I have met such a diverse group of men and women who I absolutely enjoy. Each person is so different from the next, and in any other situation I may not have become friends with many of them. But we have been brought together in one way or another, and I feel blessed to get to know each one of them.
God has given me riches that extend much further than the bank, and I don't ever want to take it for granted. So I say it regularily so that those of you who pop in from time to time to read my blog will know. I may not say it to you each time I see you, and for many of you I just don't get to see you as much as I would like, so I want you to know you are loved and appreciated over the miles and I thank God for bringing you into my life.
So get used to it peeps. If you are reading this it is because you've touched my life in some way, and I appreciate you. And I will tell you that from time to time.
Get it?
Good!
First we had Christian's soccer game. He played goalie for one of the quarters, and he did a fantastic job.
His flexibility amazes me! One of these days I am going to post action shots of Christian. He is a great sport when it comes to making a good picture! Anyway, his team played a great game, and as it turns out is was Christian's last for the year.
After his soccer game we stopped at the school for the garage sale that was going on. Oh. My. Goodness! They had so. much. stuff. I had been in there the day before to help...barely, ok, so I did very little helping, but I got a glimpse of all that they would be trying to sell, and I am telling you it must have come out of their ears after I left, because when I came in Sat morning I was shocked! They had a great sale, and even made a huge amount of money! Go Lincoln!
From there Brian, Christian and I drove to the cities to go to the Science Museum. We had a great time looking and playing in all of the exhibits. Christian was bouncing around, checking things out, and running from one station to the next. He didn't read many of the directions, so we were asked "What does this do" dozens of times through out the day. Who could blame him though right? I mean who wants to take the time to read the directions, lets just DO IT!

He did sit and weave for quite awhile.
He spent some time taking a culture of the inside of his cheeks. He swabbed his cheek, then added blue liquid, dried it, blotted, and looked through the microscope to see the cells. He wasn't as interested in this as Brian and I were...on to the next!!
The mummy wasn't as big a kick for him as it was for the kids in Benjamin's group, but Christian sure did enjoy nearly everything the Science Museum had to offer.
As we were leaving we went out the front doors where there were tents set up across the street in the park. We walked over and it was a Children's Festival! There were booths, and games, and face painting and music! There was even a big open space with these cool sticks and hula hoops and juggling objects...Christian LOVED it!
We spent most of our time in this area where he tried his hardest to master juggling a stick between 2 sticks. I know that sounds vague, but I really have no idea how else to describe it.

We also made a parachute in one of the tents, and visited the butterfly garden where were able to catch and hold several butterflies. There were so many different kinds, and we were surprised to see how friendly many of them were.
After the festival we drove to Woodbury for a Trader Joes stop before we came home. It was a full, exciting, wonderful day with just our Christian. The next day he just wanted to stay home, until he remembered his cousin was just blocks away. So he disappeared for part of the day while Brian and I worked in the yard.
Christian and I tend to butt heads. I don't know if it is because he is just like me, or just like his dad....either way he and I don't always see eye to eye, but boy or boy, do I love to spend time with him. He can almost always make me laugh. He is sensitive and intuitive, and wise beyond his years. He is innocent and naive and impulsive and tends to act first/think later. I am grateful for my young son, and I look forward to watching him continue to grow with the same sweet enthusiasm he has now.
I know I end many of my blogs with how grateful I am, and I talk frequently about how blessed I feel to have the friends that I do, and the family that I do. Does it get old? Will I stop? Not likely. I truly feel undeserving of the life I have. I genuinely love nearly every aspect of my life right now. My children are wonderful boys, and they are learning and growing so much everyday, that I feel almost like I am watching instead of participating somedays. I adore my husband and still sometimes marvel over the sheer outrageous luck that he and I are together after all these years, and all those changes and choices that he and made so many moons ago. And as far as my friendships go, I am just in awe that I have met such a diverse group of men and women who I absolutely enjoy. Each person is so different from the next, and in any other situation I may not have become friends with many of them. But we have been brought together in one way or another, and I feel blessed to get to know each one of them.
God has given me riches that extend much further than the bank, and I don't ever want to take it for granted. So I say it regularily so that those of you who pop in from time to time to read my blog will know. I may not say it to you each time I see you, and for many of you I just don't get to see you as much as I would like, so I want you to know you are loved and appreciated over the miles and I thank God for bringing you into my life.
So get used to it peeps. If you are reading this it is because you've touched my life in some way, and I appreciate you. And I will tell you that from time to time.
Get it?
Good!
Monday, June 1, 2009
Ugh!
Life.
Is.
Good.
I have fantastic friends! I absolutely adore so many of the families at Lincoln. I am so so glad that the boys are able to share and experience the same school and philosophy that I had when I was their age. This coming weekend we are having a picnic with 12 other Lincoln families and I am just giddy excited about it! I cannot wait! I have alot to do to prepare for it since I am one of the hosts of said party. This year the PPT presidents (Jeff and Chris) and I auctioned a picnic at our fall auction and 10 families went in on it together, so here we are! I have alot to do between now and then, but it will be like having a birthday party, since my Bday is the next day! Good stuff!
And bad stuff...
I feel tricked. I feel insulted. I feel foolish. I feel hurt. And I feel angry. I am still upset, and while I pray and pray, I just can't seem to get used to the new direction I am forced to go in.
After years and years of trying to make do. After years and years of thinking that things were one way BAM!! I learn they are not, and they have not been for much longer than I knew. UGH! I am learning, and I am taking my time. All I can do is my best right? This past weekend I had to really bite my tongue. I was faced with the 2 angels on the shoulders. The bad angel really wanted me to make my voice be heard. But the good angel barely edged out a win, and instead there was just HIGH tension! Ugh Ugh! What I have been learning from this process though, is separation. I am able to distinguish what it is that bothers me. It is not my husband or my home, or the weather, or anything else. It is simply THIS. And THIS does not affect my sleep, it does not affect my relationship with Brian. I will not allow it to affect how I feel about myself as a mother or wife, or friend, or child of God. It is a burden that I didn't think I was prepared for, and while I would love to wish it away, I am growing because of it. Patience right?
OH! I will have to get the pictures of our weekend up so I can write about our fabulous one on one time with Christian this weekend! Soccer, science museum, Trader Joes, Chester woods park...it was a beautiful weekend! I will do that tomorrow, for now I'm going to go listen to my husband snore!
Is.
Good.
I have fantastic friends! I absolutely adore so many of the families at Lincoln. I am so so glad that the boys are able to share and experience the same school and philosophy that I had when I was their age. This coming weekend we are having a picnic with 12 other Lincoln families and I am just giddy excited about it! I cannot wait! I have alot to do to prepare for it since I am one of the hosts of said party. This year the PPT presidents (Jeff and Chris) and I auctioned a picnic at our fall auction and 10 families went in on it together, so here we are! I have alot to do between now and then, but it will be like having a birthday party, since my Bday is the next day! Good stuff!
And bad stuff...
I feel tricked. I feel insulted. I feel foolish. I feel hurt. And I feel angry. I am still upset, and while I pray and pray, I just can't seem to get used to the new direction I am forced to go in.
After years and years of trying to make do. After years and years of thinking that things were one way BAM!! I learn they are not, and they have not been for much longer than I knew. UGH! I am learning, and I am taking my time. All I can do is my best right? This past weekend I had to really bite my tongue. I was faced with the 2 angels on the shoulders. The bad angel really wanted me to make my voice be heard. But the good angel barely edged out a win, and instead there was just HIGH tension! Ugh Ugh! What I have been learning from this process though, is separation. I am able to distinguish what it is that bothers me. It is not my husband or my home, or the weather, or anything else. It is simply THIS. And THIS does not affect my sleep, it does not affect my relationship with Brian. I will not allow it to affect how I feel about myself as a mother or wife, or friend, or child of God. It is a burden that I didn't think I was prepared for, and while I would love to wish it away, I am growing because of it. Patience right?
OH! I will have to get the pictures of our weekend up so I can write about our fabulous one on one time with Christian this weekend! Soccer, science museum, Trader Joes, Chester woods park...it was a beautiful weekend! I will do that tomorrow, for now I'm going to go listen to my husband snore!
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