Do Over

If you had it to do over again would you?

Would I have let my mother give me the mullet 'do in 8th grade. Um no. I'd like to do that month over again.

Would I have kissed Charlie Bee in the woods while out on a "bike ride" Um yes. He wasn't a good kisser or anything, but a girl never forgets her first kiss, right?

Would I have signed up for girls basketball cheerleading with those awful girls and subject myself to being the butt of their jokes again? Yep. I'd do it again. It taught me to be stronger, and I learned what not to be like in high school, and I learned that girls like that are not role models.

Would I work in a pub that allows smoking by it's patrons again? Absolutely not. I'd do that over again for sure, and 'just say no' to the job offer!!! The smell of the smoke would linger on my clothing...and washing it didn't seem to help that much! That was my worst job. Blech! Do over!

However,

I can't imagine life with out my kids. I can't imagine not knowing the people I do, and quite frankly with the exception of a few of you (or maybe just you Bon--shout out whoop whoop!!), I would never have met most of the people I know now, if not for my boys. And truthfully if I had not had them when I did (even at such a young age, I wouldn't be in the same circles, or have the same friendships, or have the same connections if not for the ages of the boys) So do that over again? No thank you.

Would I have liked to have a steady career before they were born? Uh no. Have a job that I potentially love, and not want to give up? Be in a position that I depend on the income for, so that I can't stay home with my children? Nope, not for me. I appreciate the moms who work and have kids, I respect those who do. And frankly, staying home isn't for everyone. One of the women I have grown to know recently put it perfectly...she is a teacher and she said "I wouldn't be a very good mom if I stayed home with them. I think I have more patience and I feel more laid back with my kids because I have a break from them-- and them from me." Well said Linnea, you're right. Not everyone is cut out, or has the desire to stay home with their children.

I am. I was. So I did. Thankfully, I had the opportunity, and I think my sons are who they are largely because of my staying home. Wouldn't trade it. Ever.


But now? They're in school. They aren't home. They're growing up. I'd like to find something that I enjoy doing while they're away. I'd like to have a position that allows for flexibility and yet stimulates me and allows me to grow professionally. Even if it is working in an office, or in a bank...in fact, I like the idea of having a position that I can just leave at the door. When I clock out, I'd like to completely clock out. Nothing I'd bring home with me and need to focus on when I'm with my family.

But take back the younger years just to have a position like that?

Nope. No thank you. No do overs.